Now that the tricks are tricked and the treats are treated, let’s turn our attention to society’s true monsters. I’m talking, of course, about editor John McNally, writer Will Clarke, and this unspeakable book.

It seems that Clarke’s contribution, titled “How To Kill A Boy Nobody Likes,” has dusted up a ruckus in Rhode Island. Apparently, a number of concerned parents have mobilized around their shared objection to the “vulgar content” in this essay, which was offered as an elective, optional reading assignment to students at Cumberland High School.

As a concerned parent myself, I’d like to thank Lori Drew for protecting me and my family. “I feel it is my duty,” Drew affirms, “to ensure that not just my child is never handed this kind of vulgar material, but (that) your children never receive it as well.”

But seriously, all kidding aside, what is wrong with these people? Did they not read Tod Goldberg’s story?